A Year in Review

Happy Thanksgiving! At a time that reminds us so much of family, friends, and good fortune, it seems normal that I would reflect on my life last year. Everything I expected would be has long been since turned upside down. There were milestones I haven't reached and I've met goals I didn't even have last year. If I had put together a list last year of everything I wanted, I woulnd't have half of them. That isn't bothering me. Along with my life changes has come a huge shift in priorities.

Last Thanksgiving day, I rushed from the MHS-Xavier football game to Hatfield Thanksgiving to second Thanksgiving. This year, I spent the entire day at home. Emily is a first-year student in college, and therefore didn't dance at the football game. That, in itself, is a huge change for me. It's weird that after five years, I'm living at home and Em is at college. I never expected to be here.

Emily with Bryant's mascot, Tupper

Last year, I was 218 pounds heavier. Eighteen of those pounds were on my hips and thighs, and 200 was on my back, weighing me down. At the time, I didn't know how heavily the doomed relationship was weighing on me. It affected every day of my life and I feel so much freer now. Nine months have passed and I can clearly see my path. I need time to figure out myself and why I was so reluctatnt to let go of something so toxic. Sometimes I think I've got everything figured out, and then others I feel I'm doomed to repeat my mistakes over and over again. I do know that I won't ever make them with him again.

The new Lauren!

My main reflection from the last year is to live here in the moment. You never know when you'll be single, unemployed, living with your parents. Relish your friendships and the fun while you're having it. Look around at the people who are by your sides; these are your true soul mates. I can count on one hand the non-family people who really, truely care about me. I'm planning to look back on Thanksgiving 2011-Thanksgiving 2012 and be able to say that I've nutured those people who love me and have made the most of the gifts I've been given.

xoxo

Resilience

You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then – to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the thing for you. - T.H. White

I've learned a lot this year about how much a person can take before she breaks. I've learned to make compromises and to make the best of situations. I've been able to figure out what is most important to me and hows to get what I want. From me experiences this year I've learned a few things:

I'm not alone

I have friends who are also facing their own challenges. I can be there for them and they, in return, are there for me. It's times like these when you learn who your real friends are. Hundreds of miles separate us, but we're always a phone call away.


The connections I made in HESA will last a lifetime

My wonderful coworkers continue to shower me with love and support. I've never talked on the phone so much as I have this summer. The now second-years have really grown over their summer internships. It's so nice to see them on a path similar to mine. It allows me to brief them on what's ahead. I love and miss them, but I'm so proud of the progress they've made!


You can always go home

There's nothing like old friends. These girls have known me for years and years. They know my family, my story, and who I was before I went to school. I'm so lucky to have such a strong home base; I'll always feel at home when I'm with these women.


Hindsight is 20/20. It's easy to look back now and see how much I've grown over this past year. Although I didn't know it then, my support systems really helped me. My resilience has come in the form of getting to know myself and bettering my relationships with people who really matter.

More perspective

Last night, I was fortunate enough to celebrate my 23rd birthday with six fabulous friends from Connecticut. I'm so lucky to have such wonderful women in my life, and they proved yet again how much I mean to them. Going to the casino is not inexpensive, and everyone looked their best. Everyone gave up a Saturday night and Sunday morning, and didn't complain at all. The best, however, is the emotional support they provided me. They're all privy to my personal experiences and struggles, and really rallied around me last night. They did their best to separate my past from my present and I'm so grateful! I may only see them every few weeks or months, but these are real friends!

Everyone needs a little recognition

Today is the 12th day in a row that the Residential Life staff has worked a full day. Morale is low, tensions are high, and we all just really need the weekend. In these past weeks that have seemed so hectic and crazy, the bright spot for us has been the IT team. No matter what we're tasked with, the IT ladies always have our backs. Banner issues which seem monumental to me are old hat to Deb and Donna. They've fixed my errors over and over, and have educated me on how to avoid mistakes. This week, we had to send out an 800+ person mailing and it seemed we were going to have to type out roommate information by hand. Again, Deb and Donna came to our rescue!

The created a program in Banner which would match all roommate information. All we had to do was print out the 800+ sheets and stuff envelopes! This saved us days of work and countless headaches.

To show Deb and Donna our appreciation, I went out today and bought flowers. Lisa, Ruvi, and I hand delivered them today. The women were so grateful! It put our entire week in perspective: Although we're stressed and tired because people are putting tons of pressure on us, we're putting tons of pressure on Deb and Donna. For the dozens of times we're called them, how many times have we adequetly thanked them? It was wonderful to let these women know that they're appreciated and valued, even if it's just by the Residential Life team.

Reflection

After a period of near constant complaining, I feel like I need to do something to remind myself that the world is not ending. The following is a list of things for which I'm thankful:

New Friends!

I've said it before, but these women are awesome! I've never been in a work environment where I felt instantly supported and had people who would go out on a limb for me. Although this isn't a fabulous photo, here are my ladies! We went out for Ruvi's birthday and were able to relax for an evening.

Old Friends!

I've been able to keep in touch with so many wonderful HESA friends on a regular basis. I can appreciate that they'll have much less time during their academic year, but there's something to be said for people who can get me on the phone for over 15 minutes. We may be in different parts of the country and our lives, but we're the same at the core.

This Manicure
*see previous post for awesome nail details*
My nails are still going strong! Strong enough, in fact, that I was able to puncture the film of a Lean Cuisine with my nail when I didn't have a knife. Ruby Nails is totally worth the extra money.

Oldest Friends

I was able to grab dinner this week with one of my UConn friends. It was so nice to sit down with someone who knows me since the beginning of my college journey. We can point out how much each other has grown, and it's wonderful to have a reminder that there is a life outside of Student Affairs. Also, I'll use any excuse to eat the chocolate fondue at Melting Pot!

Good Country Music

Is there anything that can't be fixed by driving with the windows down listening to Chris Young? Right now, there isn't. Happiness, heartache, relaxing, friendship: I can always find a country song to reflect my mood.

The all-powerful manicure

I'm incredibly blessed to have such wonderful coworkers! After an incredibly stressful week at work, I went to get mani-pedis with Lisa and Ruvi. To me, there is nothing more relaxing than a manicure. It's not the actual nail painting, but what the manicure represents.

In a world filled with adult choices, bills, and student loan payments, the salon is a place where it's ok to be whimsical. It's ok to choose a bright color or a fun design. Your nails can reflect your mood!

After you've been set up with a stylist or technician, you can have a conversation for over an hour that doesn't revolve around work! You can get your hands massaged which is great for relaxation, but the better benefit is that your mind is relaxed. For a good part of the afternoon, all your stressors can be forgotten.

A Year in Review

It's been over a year since my last blog post. I went back to read over my summer at SMU and was surprised by how much has changed. At this time last year I was looking forward to getting back to South Carolina. I couldn't wait for new roommates, new classes, new friends! Those changes absolutely met my expectations. My time in OSE taught me things about myself, as did my fabulous roommates.





Now, I've just begun another adventure. I'm living alone in New York, making more new friends and facing new challenges. This time, it's harder. There was no orientation manual emailed to me, no second-year buddy assigned to me. It's easy to become overwhelmed without guidance or the aforementioned orientation manual. With an incredibly important work challenge happening in this upcoming week, it's time for a change in mentality.

All of the great leaders have had one characteristic in common: it was the willingness to confront unequivocally the major anxiety of their people in their time. This, and not much else, is the essence of leadership.
~John Kenneth Galbraith

It's been quite easy so far to be led, rather than to lead. I'm glad this role has been thrust upon me; it gives me an excuse to get over "being new." We'll see how this goes!